I am unsure where to start and what to say but I just know I want to write.
This weekend I had a completely awful weekend. I spent the weekend sad and lonely. And more importantly, I spent the weekend without God.
I didn’t even realize how bad not spending just a couple days with God can be. I really had no excuse for not praying or reading the bible, I was just sad and crying and didn’t want to.
I think the moment a Christian stops praying the devil wins. If you stop praying you are such an easy target for the devil.
I didn’t even realize how true that was until Sunday, when I went to church. I had the worse experience at church Sunday morning and then came back Sunday night and it was awful again. Go my life, right? haha. Anyway, the church itself isn’t awful, I think I go to a pretty great church. But the lack of prayer made the services awful for me, had I been prayer or something the services probably would have been great. The thing I realized is you can’t just show up to church on Sunday and expect to be spiritually filled when you haven’t done anything all week (or in my case weekend), it just doesn’t work like that or at least in my case it didn’t. When you go to church without being spirituality prepared it is kind of exhausting and depressing, and if you’re like me you start to look around and think no one likes you. Pretty sad stuff.
But today I feel better. Today I realize I was pretty dramatic. Today I prayed. Today I have God.
It’s so easy to give up, to stop praying, to stop going to church. All that stuff is really easy. But the moment you give up, the devils wins. And seriously, why would you want that. We need God, I need God. I went a couple days without being with God and it was awful. I wanted to give up on everything I’m doing. But even though it was hard, I realized I needed to pray. I needed God. I needed to not listen to the negative thoughts in my head, and listen to God. I know that I can get easily defeated, especially when I am not spending time with God. Which is why I know I need to be spending as much time with God as I can.
I know my life won’t always be easy but with God I can do all things and it will be good.